Where I come from and where I'm going.

 I'm sitting here writing this and the feeling of how far I have come is overpowering. 

I am 26 years old now, and once I would have thought that such an mature, grownup age, but not so much anymore lol. I still feel very much the awed child who would consume enormous amounts of animal/nature encyclopedias, and every show on the History, Science, and Animal Planet channels. I wondered what I would do when I grew up, and I longed for it to be something with animals, and somehow making a difference in our fraught world. I had the most glorious childhood, outside pretty much all the time inventing various imaginative games for my sisters, friends and I to play, or observing animals. I did excellent in school when I had teachers who understood an embraced my eccentricities (thank you Mrs. McCammon!) and pretty bad when I didn't have those kind teachers. Eventually, my parents found a Waldorf school for me to go to, and for the first time, as a fifth grader, I actually really enjoyed going to school and did really well.

My nerdy lil self on my 7th birthday.

My grandma and I meeting my long-time idol: Jane Goodall.

But by the the beginning of high school, I no longer enjoyed attending classes and I had all but given up on my career/life dreams when my extreme anxiety, depression, and severe abdominal pain crippled me physically and psychologically. Nothing helped me, and eventually I couldn't even make it in to school (which I hated vehemently) anymore, and basically became a truant. I was so different from everyone, and I felt so alone. Nothing came easily to me as it did my peers, (being fashionable, having friends, learning to drive, getting good grades and making it to class on time, etc etc) and I didn't understand why. I figured I was defective.

I ended up hospitalized at 16 years old, the agony I was feeling so severe I couldn't even keep food down anymore. I and my parents were afraid I had some sort of cancer or something equally horrible. Eventually, through the endeavors of several specialists, it was discovered there was nothing actually physically wrong with me. Instead, I was autistic: a type of neurodivergence that makes my brain, and thus myself quite different (neurodivergent) from the average person (neurotypical). With this new knowledge, my stomach pain immediately ceased, and I finally had a label for myself that made me feel that actually I wasn't defective, I was just different, and there were tons of others like me out there. I had a road map to understanding myself, and figuring out how to function in a world not designed for people like me. I attended a boarding school that helped me do this, and allowed me to attend collage courses as a highschool junior which made me realize I actually liked school: just not highschool! 

I made up all the credits I had missed through taking these college courses, and received excellent grades. After 6 months, I returned home, where over the summer I attended my very first anthropology course at my local junior college: Intro to Biological Anthropology at the Santa Rosa JC. I was hooked, and decided that was what my major would be.

After that summer, I returned to my high school for my senior year a changed person, with new confidence in myself and understanding of how my brain works. And with an academic plan in mind: a degree in anthropology. I got to "guest lecture" on evolutionary anthropology for one of my high school classes, and I even attended prom! Something my socially anxious self would never have thought possible. But my love for dressing up, and the fact that I in fact could go by myself and not with one of my school's very few guys meant I was down haha. I finished writing the young adult fantasy novel I had been working on, and self published it. Then started writing another book. I was finally not just focused on survival, and was able to explore my passions and imagination once more.

My novel.

I also became more involved with my greatest passion: animals. I adopted a wild mustang colt for my senior project, fostering for a local animal rescue, and taking in my own rescued critters such as wild mice and rats. I also went on a study abroad photography trip to Ireland with National Geographic Student Expeditions, learning more about photography, another interest I've always had.

The wild colt I adopted and I. 

I named him Sitka Tashunka Wakiya.

The Cliffs of Moher!

My Nat Geo group in Ireland.

After highschool, I attended the Santa Rosa JC and for the first time in my life, had exceptional grades: only As and A+s. I got my Associates in anthropology, applied to several UCs and got into my top pick: UC Berkeley. I got a campus tour and an anthropology department tour with my JC's anthropology club, and I actually found out I got in while eating lunch at a diner in Berkeley after having just left said tour. It was a very happy day!

The summer before I went to UC Berkeley, I studied abroad in Sicily and Southern Italy with my favorite professor from the JC: Michelle Hughes-Markovics. (Highly recommend taking her classes!) I spent almost two months there, enjoying Italian cuisine, speaking the language after taking classes, learning more about geology and archaeology, and generally having fantastic adventures and proving to myself that I could do such things. My father's side of the family is Sicilian, so it was especially fun to explore those roots.

Il Parco Archeologico Della Neapolis in Siracusa, Sicilia.

I will definitely write more about my time attending UC Berkeley, as that is what kickstarted my career, but long story short: I loved it, and learned so much! Especially that I wanted to continue on in academia. I co-facilitated and taught a class on animal behavior (that deserves its own post!) and graduated with Highest Honors after completing my senior thesis on a primate cognition project I did at the Oakland Zoo, where I was a long-time volunteer and intern. (That all deserves its own post too!)

 

Graduation pics I made my sister take lol.

After graduating, I felt totally accomplished and relieved! For about four months... then I wanted to go back to school! xD I missed my community of fellow students who became my friends, my professors, and learning about my passions in anthropology. So, I decided that I needed to pursue graduate school as I had long thought would be my path. And that will be what my next post is about! I will also make one about my experience as an Archaeological Cultural Monitor for the Mishewal Wappo Tribe, a job I was super lucky and honored to get fresh out of college and which I have been working the past year and a half. Cultural Resource Management "CRM" is a main employer of anthropologists/archaeologists.

My alterego: Indiemma Jones the archaeologist.

I am writing this blog partly for myself, so I remember everything about this journey, and partly so that those who are interested can follow along. I hope that I can show fellow autistics and other neurodivergents who have struggled so much like I have, that there's a way through, and you can harness your special interests to work to your advantage, and find your place in this world.

Me and some of my most favorite creatures: lemurs!